Go eat something, you skinny bitch!

It was a sunny Friday afternoon and the humidity was quite high that day. I was sweating up a storm while biking home from work, when I encountered the pair. She, a large teenager hugging a larger than life blue slushy. He, a skinny boy with luscious brown hair devouring a large bag of BBQ flavoured chips. They were laughing while slowly walking down the bike path. I was minding my own business, when suddenly, the skinny boy yelled at me: “Go eat something!” His female friend quickly followed with: “You skinny bitch!” They burst out laughing and continued on their journey like nothing had happened.

I didn’t react instantly. At first, I looked at them in confusion as I kept biking. Being the only other person on the bike path with them, it was clearly directed at me. I arrived home a few minutes later and the more that I thought about it, the more I got annoyed. What bothered me the most was not him telling me to go eat something, even though he should have understood that being thin did not necessarily indicate how much of something you actually eat since he was just as thin as I was, if not more. (I personally thought he looked scrawny.) It was her comment that bothered me. Why was it appropriate for a fat person to comment on my weight when I did not comment on theirs? If I would ever tell someone to “go lose some weight, you fat bitch” I doubt it would go well for me. In fact, I’m pretty positive it would not go well at all. I’m an understanding person but no matter what excuses I would make for people who voice their hurtful opinions at others, it would not excuse the fact that it’s unacceptable to bully others regardless of your own feelings towards society or even yourself. No matter the situation, hurting others in any shape or form (mental, physical, etc) is not okay. I want to name call and swear at those people but I’d be an hypocrite for using the tactic I just said was wrong… I’ll just sigh and shake my head for the time being.

I always felt very uncomfortable when large people would comment on my weight and ask what I ate or did to achieve my look. It has been happening a lot this summer since I started biking to work instead of busing. I bike because it’s quicker and cheaper than public transportation, not because it’s a work-out routine but I still get the awesome muscle definition because I am still doing a physical activity whether I thrive for that result or not. I always felt uncomfortable talking about my weight with people who struggled with theirs because I never had to really worry about mine and could always just enjoy all types of food and physical activities without having to put much thought into it. I have tried to indicate that it was natural to some people in the most modest of ways possible but after some really shitty reactions, I started to refrain myself completely. I started lying to certain types of people after getting comments such as: “Oh, you’re one of those people.”, “Lucky you, you can stuff your face all you want…” and even, “Have you ever considered putting on weight?” It always made me feel as though I was not allowed to feel good about myself for being thin because I didn’t work hard for it. I then started reading about thin shaming. It’s just as horrible as any type of shaming.

I vary between a (Canadian) size 2 and 5 and I am 5’2 so I am not a very tall or large human being. I have always been okay with that until I turned 26 years told (currently 28). A few years ago, I started noticing the war between the fat and fitness activists. I always felt as though both sides were extremists and also wrong because no structure is just as bad as too much of it. Why can’t we all just enjoy activities and food in equal ratio and take care of our bodies and mental states in a normal, healthy way? That doesn’t mean that everybody should stop eating meat, dairy, gluten and carbs and start becoming obsessed with everything weight related. It simply means that you should eat according to your activities and thrive to be a balanced person, both mentally and physically. *Activities that do not involve sitting idly for days on end while stuffing your face with donuts and coffee are required for the balanced person state to work. Even though it sounds fun and delicious, it should not be done by any living creature. (This may be based on true events…)

I talked to a friend of mine after the incident happened because I was pissed and needed to share my experience. She struggled with her weight growing up but had been working very hard as an adult to keep the weight off and deal with her head demons. She became a healthier human being, both mentally and physically. I admire her willingness to constantly change and better herself. She told me that when she started losing weight and getting muscles, her larger co-workers and other people would pass judgement with comments like “Skinny bitch”, “You look sick.” and the one that really bothered her, “You’re too skinny.” She told me how annoying it was at first and how depressing it got to be around people who did not encourage her to become a better person. I thought that was horrible and no one should ever be made to feel like shit for focusing on what they really want. You shouldn’t get bullied because you are bettering yourself and thriving to be healthier.

I know that we will always judge others according to our own feelings and behaviours but it’s not a reason to be loud and offensive about it. If you feel the need to judge someone’s weight, do it in your head because no one needs that kind of negativity. As my mother would say, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Mean comments on anyone’s physical appearance, whether fat, skinny or athletic, are highly disrespectful and no one deserves to be ridiculed for looking a certain way. It takes discipline, dedication and focus to achieve the things you are most passionate about in life and weight goals are no different.

Categories: Ideation, My Words | 2 Comments

The Toilet Seat

When I was about 3 years old, I fell into the toilet. It was a normal day for me as a 3 year old until I realized that my bum was sitting in water instead of the toilet seat. I cried because I was upset that someone had left the toilet seat up. What was this sorcery!

After my mother laughed hysterically, she explained that it was my job in life to make sure I never sit my bare ass anywhere without looking first. She added that if anyone fell into the toilet because the seat was left up, they were morons and deserved it. My mother was a harsh lady and spoke her mind often. She was a single mother and was (still is) highly against sexism. In my mother’s eyes, both men and women were responsible for the toilet seat. When my step-dad came along, she proclaimed that closing the full toilet seat was more appropriate. That way, nothing would fall in and everybody had to put it down: not just men. This method allowed her to lose her shit at anyone who would leave the seat up in any fashion. She was pretty extreme about it.

I Fell In, Therefore, It Is Your Fault

Some people tend to pass responsibilities onto others. For example, when some of my lady friends do fall into the toilet because the seat wasn’t put down, they freak out on their partners. I understand that you may feel embarrassed that you fell in but there is no reason to blame another for this. You have eyes, you can use them to determine where you sit to do your business. If you happen to be blind, you still have your hands to touch around. If you don’t have eyes or hands, then I guess someone is there with you to check?!

Regardless of how angry you are at that moment, you have to realize that it is your responsibility to make sure the toilet is ready for you before you sit: Not his. He has to do work as well when it comes to put it up. It’s the same amount of work, don’t be a bitch about it.

He’s Well Trained

Women tend to make jokes about their male partners being well trained when it comes to the toilet seat. “He puts it down, I trained him well.” Are you dating a dog? Is your partner extra furry in the face and you need to take him out for walks and poops outside? Then you do not say you train your partner. I would personally dump your sorry ass for saying something like this about me.

Putting the seat down is just a robotic gesture he does so you don’t lose your shit on him. Most people don’t like to fight and most people will choose their battles. If you don’t see anything wrong with saying that your partner is “well trained” then go seek help. Thinking that your partner is some kind of animal you need to train for your benefit is highly insulting. It’s not how you should view a partner at all. In fact, the toilet seat should not rile you up that much and if it does, perhaps the problem is not with the toilet seat, but with something else.

Now go make him a sandwich like you were trained to do.

It Looks Disgusting

Well, pardon me m’lady, I didn’t realize putting the middle seat down suddenly made the toilet gorgeous to look at. A toilet looks the exact same whether the cover is down or the full thing is up. If it’s dirty, you’ll see it no matter what. If your brain is predisposed to see the toilet as disgusting when the seats are up (the cover becomes a seat sometimes) and not down, you should work on that.

A toilet is meant to be used to take shits and pees, it’s not sexy and it certainly isn’t pretty no matter how clean it is. Women seem to be conditioned at a young age about the thoughts of the toilet seat. It’s like some secret society that you can only be part of if you have a vagina. Older women teach younger girls to hate men who leave the toilet seat up like it’s some kind of revolutionary feminist thought. It’s propaganda I say… Please refer to the above bit about responsibilities.

Here are some tips on how to stop caring about the toilet seat:

  • Look before you sit. – It’ll become second nature.
  • Stop the negative feelings towards the toilet seat, your heart will thank you someday. You could direct that energy towards something more constructive such as starving kids in your neighbourhood.
  • Have a house rule of putting the cover down after each use so all human beings have to do this. It’s fair for everybody. You and small objects will appreciate this effort.
  • Clean your bowl regularly so you don’t feel as though it’s disgusting to look at. It’ll never be the majestic throne you are hoping for, but at least it’ll be clean if the seat is left up.
  • Choose your battles. Relationships are not the easiest, so why complicate things with such insignificant  negative feelings.

Use your toilet responsibly.

The Majestic Throne

Your Majestic Throne Awaits!

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